My rating: 2 of 5 stars
When I was younger, I used to despise Koreans. I would get really embarrassed when all the other Korean kids started drawing Korean flags on their backpacks and notebooks and writing “KP” (“Korean Pride”) on everything they owned (I still think I was a tiny bit justified in that embarrassment. That’s pretty lame, yo).
But, as I grew older, I realized that, whether I liked it or not, being Korean was part of my heritage, and trying to cut that off was like cutting off my nose to spite my face. I learned to accept the good things that came with the culture (the emphasis on diligence, integrity, and respect) and to watch out for the bad (arrogance in achievement, undue emphasis on success in the eyes of the world, and the tendency to bury emotions and affection down where no one can find it, not even you).
Besides that, I realized that Koreans have the best cuisine in the world. Seriously, Korean food is tha BOMB.
And then I read The Sword Thief and now I hate Koreans again.
The third book in the 39 Clues series (I can’t believe I’m only one-thirteenth of the way through this series. Kill me now) contains two elements that I find absolutely repulsive. The first is a mysterious Korean uncle to two white kids (you still haven’t explained this to my satisfaction, writers), who alternates between wanting to help the kids and wanting to hurt the kids to help himself. Through it all, he’s creepy as creepy gets, and the picture of an actor posing as him on one of the collectible cards was even creepier because the book makes him sound like an old man, but the man in the picture was youngish. Creepy uncle of eternal youth? Creepy.
And his name is supposed to be Alistair Oh? Shenanigans. Strike three, writers.
The second creepy-as-all-get-out element is Amy Cahill’s crush on her COUSIN. Ew, ew, and EW. I don’t care that they’re probably not that closely related. There’s even a scene where Ian Kabra, the handsome cousin (GAG) “lightly brushes her lips with his” or some crap like that. EEEWWWW!!!! Excuse my while I puke!!! That is so not appropriate, I don’t know what to say. And the worst part of it is that it’s not even being played for laughs, or with any hint of irony. When the writers of “Arrested Development” put romantic tension between George Michael (the adorable Michael Cera) and his cousin Maeby (the also adorable Alia Shawkat), at least there was a chance she was adopted and it was all played for laughs anyway. But The 39 Clues is taking this über-seriously. As serious as the hereditary diseases that result from inbreeding.
Other than that, the adventure part of this novel was pretty much the same old schlock I’m getting used to seeing from this series. Kids race around exotic foreign location, avoid baddies, run into baddies, somehow elude their grasp and manage to be the first to find the next clue in the series.
Three down. Thirty-six to go. *sigh*